when all the bottles are empty

A LETTER TO A WOMAN

I told him before that whom he will love,
I will also love.

Everything that will make him happy, I will cherish.
Everything that will pain him, I will avoid.
Everything that will make him sad,
I will pray for that he is spared that chalice.

So I got acquainted with his mother
and joined his siblings.
I invited him to my house:
I was glad she asked for my mother's blessings
and talked with my siblings.

I also started playing the guitar,
to sing the songs written
by my arthritic and discordant heart.
I bought a new camera
so I will have photographs
I will keep, the ones I took of him,
the ones he took of me,
and the photos of us both.

I searched for the books, films
which we can watch, talk about
until we grow old,
until we anoint each other.

When I heard you became his girl,
I was hurt but happy.
How these two feelings can merge,
perhaps show the way I love him.

I am glad he will open
a new chapter in his life
with you, apart from me.
He has to grow
even if it is the start of my decline.

Now that he has left you
I will not ask you how you feel,
I already know that, I've been there.
But you can indeed come to me,
let us meet in our love for him.
I love you not the way he loves you.
I love you because let us hope
that he also loved you.

If you are already numb or whatever
tell me, more so the feeling
of how it is to be loved, how it is to be cared for
by such a man which like him whom I have vowed to
that whoever he will love, I will also love.

Translation by FPJr.