Saturday, July 30, 2005
BAGONG TULA
EXSULTET
Matapos ang panggagahasa
at pagpako sa musa ng pagtula
muling dinalaw ng nag-aatubiling makata
ang libingan ng kanyang diyos.
Bitbit niya ang ilang garapong
punó ng tinipon na samyo at mga kordon ng salita.
Hindi ko maaring lunukin ang aking dila,
pabulong na sabi ng makata sa sarili.
Nang malapit na siya sa libingan
natanaw niya ang nakaiwang na bato.
Agad na pumasok sa loob ng libingan ang makata
ngunit hindi niya nakita ang bangkay ng musa
sa halip, bumungad sa kanya ang isang blangkong papel.
Nabalintunaan ang makata sa nakita
at narinig niya ang isang tinig:
Bakit mo hinahanap ang buhay sa gitna ng mga patay?
Kaya lumabas ang makata sa kuwebang-puntod
at nagsisigaw sa daan:
Buhay ang musa! Buhay ang musa!
At nang marinig ito ng kapwa niya mga alagad
ipinagpalagay nilang nahihibang na ang kanilang kasama.
RELAUNCHING BALALONG
SA AQUINAS UNIVERISTY, AUGUST 15, 2005, alas dos nin hapon. magduman kita. hirlingan, horon-horon. maray ini ta minsan maski pirang oras dai na muna pag-olayan an babaying inaapod nindang GMA.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
SHORT STORY
“When I grow up I want to become an astronaut.
Di sana ko migpara’alin sa kanut!”
Biyaheng Bulan
Agku ko makusog na pagkamangha ka bulan. Lalo na pagkabilugan na pwidi kaming mangayamun sa turubigan o kaya tagu-taguan. Marurumruman ko su mga barani na pagtataguan namu, na sabi ngani, gatikut na sana kunung oras, pag-alas dose agku magluluwas na anting-anting sadtu puso ka batag na lang siram na gugulayun ni amay minsan ngani uukuyun pa ni lola na mas paburito ko. Dawa makikingayamun ako sa mga kapwa ko igin, iba ko kanda. Isi kudto sa sadiri ko. Ta buko akong malaka-angap sa ngayamun. Mas mamumuya kong maray na pagparati’urungan sana a Bulan. A liwanag, a gayon, a kabilugan niya. Mas maray a bulan, bukong masilaw a liwanag, bukong paryo ka alduw na kaipuhan ko pang ku’un su shades ni apay o kaya su mga saray-saray na negative sa mga film ni amay tanganing mabayad adi. Dawa sabi ka mga istorya na pagkabilugan ka Bulan saka magluluwas a aswang, lalo na sadi Iriga, lalabanan ko takot. Agku man istorya na pag-nagiingklipsi, kinakaon kaya kunu bulan sa dakulung halimaw, a bauy Bakunawa. Kaya kunu mag-ngi-ngit bigla. Su sabi ngani ni lola, kadtu kunung huring mag-ingklipsi, di pa ko igin, nag’biglang nag gab-i, kaya su mga manok nagturugpaan bigla. Tapos, paguban-uban nagliwanag naman kaya maski su mga lalung na pambulang ni lolo nasus’tuwan ku pangyayari, di tulos nakatutura’ok. Tapos su mga rumaragang manok, napaitlog kunu sala sa oras. Nagdakulu ako sa mga istoryang arog kadi. Mga asawang, engkanto, kapingis, tawong di nababayad. Pero mas ungot ako ki Bakunawa. Baga na kunu di dragon, paryo ko mababayad ko sadto cartoon a naisip ko. Magbubuga sa kalayo tapos mangunguko sa igin. Pero makusog a bubutun ko. Kaya ku magtapos akong kinder, ku pagkakataon ko nang sabiyon ko, kun unu gusto ko magin pagdakulu, di ako nagdurudarwang isip na sabiyon na gusto kong maging astronaut. Amo, gusto kong makaiyan sa Bulan. Gusto kong makatungtung sa Bulan saka gusto kong mabayad a lugar na ini, ta isi ko agku sadi mga tawo. Kanatu sana ding sasabiyon ko, si apay astronaut, minsan ngani si amay nakaiyan naman sa Bulan. Sigurado ko ta, marurungug ko sa usipan nira na mag-iiyan sira sa Bulan. Piro buku man akong igin sa mga aswang. Di man sira amay maglalayog paiyan sa Bulan. Kun minsan magmomotor sana sira, kun minsan bus. Amo, ta sadto pa ngani magtratrabaho si apay. Agku tawo sa Bulan. Mig-iba ko ki apay, guguranon ko si Bakunawa, darawon ko ding ispandang kawoy na ginibo ni lolo saka adtung medalya ni San Benito, anting-anting kunu di, tinao di kanuku ku barkada ko, kabalyu ko lastiko saka teks na pigparatipon ko. Kaya ko isi kong ready na ko, nagkusog bo’ot akong kausipon si apay na iiba niya ko paiyan sadtu Bulan. Ku una abo niya, ta baka kunu magparinggaw sana ko, kasusupog kunu ku mga katrabaho niya saka daman kunu ko sadtu gigibohon. Pero sa kalaun-launi napirit ko man sana si apay na iiba ko paiyan sadto Bulan. Salamat ta matutupad na su pangarap ko na makaiyan sadtu Bulan. Aanapun ko tulos si Bakunawa pag-naguraan ko na di saka ko na pwiding mapirit ko si apay na sadtu na kami Bulan mag-istar. Lana kaya kunung sakit ka buway sadi Bikol. Narungug ko minsan sira amay saka su maestra ko na agku kunu naman nagralaban ku sapun sadtu bukid. Mga di-badil na suldados saka su mga NPA, di ko isi kun tauno sira ta magginiranan. A sabi pagrarabungun kaya kunu di ni Bakunawa. Su usad kunu na nakuku sadtu salog, pinaanod, tadtad sa bala tapos buklat su mata. Sabi ni amay, eskwela pa kunud tu niya. Maray kunu sa klase, nagtapos sa Manila tapos pagbalik nag-tukad na sa bukid. Siguro pig-hahanap man nira si Bakunawa. Ta la talaga ka perwisyo kadi ni Bakunawa. Di sana niya tutulnun a Bulan, sabi ni lola, magparapanringgaw pa kunu pag’gab-i. Manunulo sa kawuy sa bukid, magpapasabog sa bitnga ka mga dagat tanganing masdakul na makukuong isura, maski mga sadit pa. Kun minsan baga na kunu di demonyo sabi ni lola. Ta titintaran a mga kag-igin na lugusun a mga raraga nirang igin. Buburatun muna kunu ni Bakunawa. Mas matakot kunu di sa aswang. Ta di kunu di makakatakot sa bawang o krus, ta magsisimba pa kunu di. Sabi pa ni lola, magiging tawo kunu si Bakunawa pag-aalduw. Kaya makusog a bagsik ni Bakunawa. Iistorya ko man adi sa mga kangayamun ko, pero di sira maniniwala, pig-uulian na kunu si lola. Kaya dawa naghahanap kintana akong kasurog, solo sana ko sadi laban ko ki Bakunawa. Di ko man plano na mag-ayat sa tabang sa pulis, ta ku usad na alduw pauli na kong baluy, nakalunad na kong traysikel, kung biglang pinapundo su nalulunadan namu sa pulis. Inaayat su lisensya ko drayber. Agku kunu di ginibong sala ta uda kunu nakarukut na poster ni mayor. Eleksyon na kaya kadtu. Pag-uda kunu lulawgon ni mayor na nakarukut. Ku’un kunu sa pulis a lisensya. Kun diri man, inaayatan sa sanggatos su dryaber. Nagkaguw-kaguw na sana su drayber na baga na naungut man ta lang ispid kading pinadalagan su traysikel. Madali pa kaming maka-apun sadtu uma-pagbiglang rikudo. Maray sana nganing nakakaput ako. Kaya sa bo’ot ko naman, agku na ko tamang kusog na labanan si Bakunawa. Abo ko man na sabiyun ki apay ta baka kadakul ka gibo ka usad na astronaut na titser pa. Saka bihira kami kading mag-usip.
***
La ka amay namung naggalin ni apay paiyan sa Bulan. Sabadong nag-iiramrag. Agku pa ngani Bulan. Sabi ni apay da man talagay ya lo’og kadtu alduw nadto. Sadtu kaya iya nadestino na maestro. Mag-uuli sanay ya pag kabanga saka katapusan ka Bulan.Usad padi sa pagkamangha ko ka Bulan. A alduw usad sana a Bulan, dakul. A Bulan nginaran sa dosi, agku Enero, Pebrero hanggang Disyembre. Baga na alduw sakop sana ka Bulan. Uban na si apay sa pagtuturo, bako pa nagkaagoman sira ni amay, maestro nay ya sadtu Bulan. Inda kun unu mga estudyante niya sadtu, siguro mga taga ibang planeta man. Agko gad taga-Jupiter na malang dudu’ag, o Pluto na mga unano, malang iisog gad ka taga-Mars o lang gagayon ka taga-Venus, pero di man magparistorya si apay. A di niya isi, marurungug kuy ya magsasabi ki amay, arog baga ka lana la luma ka eskwelahan na pigtutut’turuan niya. A mga eskwela niya maguuram-uraman sa libro, la na ka mga luma tapos tolong tawo pa naggamit kan. Nariribungan na ngani ako minsan kun unu man a Bulan. Baga na paryo sana man ka Bikol. Kadakul problema, kadakul perwisyo talaga ni Bakunawa. Kaya baka a mga igin sadtu Bulan, makumbinse kong makilaban ki Bakunawa. Pagnagura’an na namu si Bakunawa di migray a Bikol pati na a Bulan. Sadtu ko pupunan a ribolosyon laban ki Bakunawa. Magiging Andres Bonifacio man ako ka Bikol.
Pag-iyan namung Bulan, di kami linunad sa space ship, sin’nu’nu sana ko sadtu motor ni apay. Sabi niya, kumaput sana kunuko. Tapos, isupong su helmet. Inunga niya ko kun ready na kunu ko. Sabi ko amo, Agku ko darang napsak, sadtu linu’ug ni apay su balon naming isura, tapos su pinasikreto kong ispada. Sinupung ko naman su medalya ni San Benito. Pinaandar ni apay su motor, agku mga nagluwas na asu. Baga naman space ship, kaya lang gatikot sanang aso, tapos, nag-andar na su motor. Uda ibang nakakaisi sadtu mga kangayamun ko na paiyan ako sadtu Bulan. Dawa di nira ko pinaniwalaan na maguguraan ko si Bakunawa, pinanuga ko sa sadiri ko na dadarawun ko payo ni Bakunawa na pugot. An kun magkasya sadi lo’og kadi napsak ko. Dawa inaandal ako, namumuya man ako ta amo di una kong Biyahe paiyan sa Bulan.
***
Su direksyon namu, paiyan sadtu bulkan. Baka pumapanik muna sadtu bulkan na sigi sana asu. Sadtu gad kami lumulunad sa space ship ta maray sadtu harani na sa Bulan. Nagiiramrag na kadtu. Luway-luway nang nagpapabayad su alduw na kinakasuyaan ko, makaiitum kaya an sinag ka alduw, makanos a maitum, pagparabansagan pati ka mga kangayamun ko sa agta, nakakapakuto pa kunu a pagparabulad sa alduw. A malang kuto kunu ilalayog paiyan sadtu Mayon, I-uulug kunu sa kalayo. Inunga ko si apay kun unung oras kami makakaabot sadtu Bulan, sabi niya mauban-uban kunu, mimudto na sana kunu kami sa gilid sa tinampu. Habang parani kami sadtu bulkan, mas lalo ding nagdudu’ag. Malang gayon, la ka triangle. Kadtu pagdro-drowingon ko sana di. Pero, ku mga oras na adtu, nabayad ko su bulkan sa personal. Kadakul kong nabayad sadtu tinampo, agku mga pakwan na nagtitinda, laka mga bilog, paryo ka bulan. Tapos agku surunudan na malang-susulung baluy, kadakul na bombilya sa luwas, na parung man, iba-ibang kolor, kadaklan pula. Kaamo sa ka mga pirot ko bombilya o nagpapaiingalo sana para sa trabaho kinagab-iyan. A mga ngaran pati iba-iba. Agku Diwata, Giliw, Sampaguita, Dama de Noche, saka iba pang ngaran sa burak na malangaamot pero uda man basang ako nabayad na burak na nakatanom. Agku usad na babaying nagluwas na naka tshirt sana saka short na laka alukut. Sinulung kanako tapos tinawa sa baga na isi niya a plano kung guguranun si Bakunawa. Di ako nagpamalisyang nabayad ko su babayi na lang-ib’og ku ngabil na malangpula na baga na malalata. Inunga ko si apay kun unud to, di iya nagpulaw, pero a tanda ko, sabi ni lola, maglulo’og kunu san si Bakunawa sa mga lugar na arog kan a ngaran. Saka a tandaanan, mga pulang bombilya. Pero di kami sadtu pinundu. Buko padto a Bulan. Mas maray man talaga kun maabot ko Bulan. Sadtu ko ulatun si Bakunawa. Sadtu kuy ya aatubangun. Sadto kuy ya guguranun.
***
Si lola na kag-igin ni amay a nagsabi kanaku kun siisay si Bakunawa. Agkuy ya kadtu inasang rawit-dawit kadtu kanako tungkol ki Bakunawa. Dati kunung malangkanus ni Bakunawa, nakakukulong adi. Piro usad na gab’i nakabiliw adi. Tapos nagbago su lulawgon niya buko nay yang makanos, nagin poderoso kunu si Bakunawa. Nagpag’gibo sa mga tulay na pirang taon pa sana narugma na. Pinasurat su ngaran niya sa ga waiting shed pati na sa mga kasilyasan saka basurahan. Tamang-tamang isipon na sadtu dapat talaga ibutang a ngaran ni Bakunawa. Mga ati ka banwaan. Usad pang istorya ni lola na kadtu kunu agko pitong bulan a kinaban, pig-usad-usad kunuding kaunun ni Bakunawa anggan sa magdakulu iya sa marhay na baga na na dakulung isura. Masiram kunu Bulan. Lang presko sa buros. Kaya sabi niya kaipuhan kunung bantayan a usad tang bulan, ta kun makaon pa di ni Bakunawa, la nang ngit-ngit ka gab-i ta. Kadakul ni lolang istorya ki Bakunawa na lalong nakapakusog ka pagkauyam saka pagkaungut ki Bakunawa. Kaya maray ading iniba ko ni apay, paiyan sadtu Bulan. Sadto kami mig-inampangan ni Bakunawa.
Lang rayu na ko naabot ni apay ku mag-pundu kami sa usad na gasolinahan. Nagkiling-kiling si apay ta lana kunung langkaw ka gasolina, sigi sana kunu langkaw, ngamin sadi Bikol. Kuryente kunu na galin sa init ka Bulkan. Mas alangkaw a singil sadi Bikol. Tubig kunu na galin sa Bukid ta, ipapabakal na. Pag-alangkaw kunu gasolina ngamin na miglangkawan sabi ni lola. An kunung gasolina a paboritong inumun ni Bakunawa. Kaya kontralado ni Bakunawa a ngamin. Sakup na niya a ngamin.
Pag-galin namung gasolinahan, padagus kaming nagbiyahe, paluwas na kaming Da-ra-ga. Tapos, sa talikuran ko na su bulkan, kaya sabi ko sari raw kami lumlunad paiyan sa Bulan. Siguro migbaba sana kami sa usad na lugar, tapos sadtu na su spaceship nira apay. Lalo kong na-excite. Lalo na ku palubak-lubak na su tinampu inaagiyan namu. Baka harani na kami sa Bulan. Ta nabayad ko sadtu picture sa usad na libro, na malang-bato sa Bulan, gudul-gudul a agiyan. Pero buko pa man na Bulan palan adto, pal’oog pa sana kami sa lugar na a ngaran Sor-so-gon.
***
Pag-abot namung usad na banwaan sadto Sor-so-gon, saka kami nagkaun ni apay sa gilid ko tinampu, sa sirung sa kawuy, Lang speed ko dalagan ko motor ni apay. Sabi niya bago kunu mag-gab’i sadto na kami Bulan. Linuwas namu su balun namung kanun saka katnga tapos iniyuw na tilapia saka adobong manok. Lang siram ko pagkaun namu, sinabuw ko su sabuw ko adobo sadto malang-puting kanon. Di ako nagkaon ko katnga ta malang-ali. Si apay a nakaubos kadtu. Nakakapirang subu pa sana ko ko agku maglabus na guraan. Iba adtung guraan. Bukung paryu ko magraan si lolo. Su mga nakikigubuk agku mga darang placards na a nakasurat. Ingles, tapos Tagalog saka Bikol. Binasa ko. Idi-idi: JUS-TICE FOR KA TI-NONG! KA-TA-RUNGAN SA MA-RA-LI-TA!!! PUN-DO-HON AN GE-GE-RA KAN MI-LI-LITAR! SI-BIL-YAN NA-DA-DA-MAY! Agku mga nagbuburang nakaitum na nagsusunud sadto kabaung, su usad na igin na babayi, sinilngan ko, pero rinayu niya su silung kanako. In’nukrung bigla agku ya kaput na burak na pula- mga gumamela. Su ibang nakikilubung agko mga bugkus na pula sadto payo nira. Sabi ni lola, pag-agko kunu linolobong, mangadyi kunu ko, piro ko mga oras adtu, da ako narumruman kundi su lulawgon ko igin na babaying nabayad. Inandal ako ta baka si Bakunawa a nag-guraan Ki Ka Tinong. Baka apay niya di o kaya ngud na gurang. Kaya sabi ko sa sadiri, aanapun ko si Bakunawa, guguranun ko si Bakunawa para kanya. Pero di kami sadto nauban ni apay. Lin’nunad kami sadtu motor. Tapos pinadalagan ini ni apay sa lang tandus, kaamo sa agku ya namating ribuk sadtu lubong na adto. Pag-li-li ko, nabayad kong agku kasabatan na mga tangke sa military su lubong. Inandal ako para ko igin na babaying nabayad ko.
***
Mga mig-alasingko y medya nadtu ko magpabayad na su Bulan. Kabilugan kadtu, kaya, gatikot pa sana ku hawak ku bulan su nababayad ko. La pa namung rayu sa bo’ot ko, pero sabi ni apay, arani na kunu kami sa Bulan, Napaparung ko na angin na galin sa dagat. Takot ako sa dagat. Di pati ako maririgus sa dagat saka malang apri sa mata. Abu kung maray na makukulugan a mata ko. Abu ko sa ngit-ngit. Abu kong masusungut. A alduw, malangsula, a dagat, ma-apri sa mata a tubig. Saka makakatakot ako ka mga alon. Baga na kaya tutulunun ika kadi tapos darawon ika sa pusod ka dagat. Baga na si Bakunawa. Pero kadtong mga panahon adto, pinakusog ko su sadiri ko. Dapat labanan ko si Bakunawa. Pag-abot namung Bulan, sasabiyan ko si apay ka plano ko. Isi kong tatabangan niya ko. Dapat ngani magin proud pay ya kanako.
***
Aminun kong buku akong gayung arani ki apay. Pero ko mga panahon na adto namatian ko su pagpayaba niya. Lang ray ko pagmati na habang nakalunad ako sa motor, gakos-gakos koy ya. Gusto kong ipamati kanya na payaba koy ya sa maray. Sira ni amay. Na bihira kaming mag-uusip ni apay, isi kong bago ko maturog babaydun muna ko niya. Mamangnu koy yang mag-lu’lu’ug sadtu sadit kong kuwarto. Tapos, pagtiturungan ako. Saka dawa pauno, si apay a dahilan kun paano ako nakaabot sa Bulan. Na buko man palan su bulan na nababayad ko sa langit, na magigin lugar ka labanan namu ni Bakunawa, kundi sa Bulan, Sorsogon.
***
Mig-alas siyete na sa gab-i kami nag-abot sa Bulan, Sorsogon. Amo palan adtu a Bulan na pigtutukoy nira apay saka nira amay. Napatawa ko sa sadiri ko, pero namundo man ako ta pa’no na matutupad su pangitoragan kong iligtas a Bulan laban ki Bakunawa. Pa’no kun kantyawan sana ko ku mga kangayamun ko? Pano kun mabayad ko utro su igin na babayi tapos unga’un ako kun naguraan ko na si Bakunawa? Pa’no kun pag-uli namu, taw’an sana ko ku mga babaying nagtratrabaho sadto Sampaguita. Sabiyan akong lako paka totoy. Di ko pa kaya si Bakunawa. Namundo ako sa maray. Pero binawi adtu ni apay ku dinara ko niya sadto pier, agko sadto ula-ulaan na bayad a dagat harani sana sadtu kubong inaarkila ni apay. Namamati’an kong nauuda su takot ko sa dagat o mas nasasapawan san su takot ko, ku gayon ku Bulan. Su lugar saka su Bulan na gusto kong maabut. Malang linig ko langit, uda panganoron na nakakalingud. Malinig man su pier ku Bulan, Sorsogon. Sabi ni apay, dawa pirang taon na kunuy yang nagtuturo sadtu Bulan, tapos agko mga assignment na mas magayon kaysa sadto, saka alangkaw a swildo, di niya kayang bayaan a Bulan. Baga na kunud to paraiso. Na maski arayo pa sa Iriga, kinakaya niya, ta agko kakaibang kusog iyang namamatian pag-aabot sadto Bulan. Kun buko sana kunu ki amay, sadto na kunu kami Bulan mig-istar. Agkou pa inistorya si apay tungkol sa buway niya. Ku igin pa ya, gusto kunu niya kadtung maging abogado, kaya lang ti’us talaga sira. Kaya nagtitser na sana kunuy ya ta agku ya nakukung iskalarship. Pero, pinanuga man niya na magigin maray na maestro ya. Agko pay ya pigparasabi kanako, na kadto kunu ungut iya sa mga pulitiko na nagpaparuro ka Bikol, na amu sana siging pinasa-pasahan sa katungdan. Usad sanang pamilya a nagkakapot ka opisina, ka kapitolyo, ka munisipyo, ka ngamin sa gobyerno. Gusto kuno niyang makatabang sa Bikol. Pero mas pinili pa niyang magin tultul tapos sincerong maestro na tut’turuan a mga estudyante niya diri sana pagparapawanun. Su iba niyang istorya di ko naman naintidyan, laku na kaya ka pagal. Mala ta napabatang na ko sadtu lapi ni apay. Bago ko ipikit su mga mata sinilngan ko su Bulan na baga na nanalming sadtu malanglinaw na dagat. Narumruman ko si Bakunawa. Baka bigla iyang magluwas tapos manringaw! Pero, kadtung gab-ing adtu, isi kong makakaturug ako sa marhay, lalo na ku ma malisyan ko na kinilit na ko ni apay, paiyan sadto araning turugan namu. Sabi ko, di ako takot kanimu Bakunawa, kaya ko nay yang labanan, dawa sa pangiturugan muna.
Di sana ko migpara’alin sa kanut!”
Biyaheng Bulan
Agku ko makusog na pagkamangha ka bulan. Lalo na pagkabilugan na pwidi kaming mangayamun sa turubigan o kaya tagu-taguan. Marurumruman ko su mga barani na pagtataguan namu, na sabi ngani, gatikut na sana kunung oras, pag-alas dose agku magluluwas na anting-anting sadtu puso ka batag na lang siram na gugulayun ni amay minsan ngani uukuyun pa ni lola na mas paburito ko. Dawa makikingayamun ako sa mga kapwa ko igin, iba ko kanda. Isi kudto sa sadiri ko. Ta buko akong malaka-angap sa ngayamun. Mas mamumuya kong maray na pagparati’urungan sana a Bulan. A liwanag, a gayon, a kabilugan niya. Mas maray a bulan, bukong masilaw a liwanag, bukong paryo ka alduw na kaipuhan ko pang ku’un su shades ni apay o kaya su mga saray-saray na negative sa mga film ni amay tanganing mabayad adi. Dawa sabi ka mga istorya na pagkabilugan ka Bulan saka magluluwas a aswang, lalo na sadi Iriga, lalabanan ko takot. Agku man istorya na pag-nagiingklipsi, kinakaon kaya kunu bulan sa dakulung halimaw, a bauy Bakunawa. Kaya kunu mag-ngi-ngit bigla. Su sabi ngani ni lola, kadtu kunung huring mag-ingklipsi, di pa ko igin, nag’biglang nag gab-i, kaya su mga manok nagturugpaan bigla. Tapos, paguban-uban nagliwanag naman kaya maski su mga lalung na pambulang ni lolo nasus’tuwan ku pangyayari, di tulos nakatutura’ok. Tapos su mga rumaragang manok, napaitlog kunu sala sa oras. Nagdakulu ako sa mga istoryang arog kadi. Mga asawang, engkanto, kapingis, tawong di nababayad. Pero mas ungot ako ki Bakunawa. Baga na kunu di dragon, paryo ko mababayad ko sadto cartoon a naisip ko. Magbubuga sa kalayo tapos mangunguko sa igin. Pero makusog a bubutun ko. Kaya ku magtapos akong kinder, ku pagkakataon ko nang sabiyon ko, kun unu gusto ko magin pagdakulu, di ako nagdurudarwang isip na sabiyon na gusto kong maging astronaut. Amo, gusto kong makaiyan sa Bulan. Gusto kong makatungtung sa Bulan saka gusto kong mabayad a lugar na ini, ta isi ko agku sadi mga tawo. Kanatu sana ding sasabiyon ko, si apay astronaut, minsan ngani si amay nakaiyan naman sa Bulan. Sigurado ko ta, marurungug ko sa usipan nira na mag-iiyan sira sa Bulan. Piro buku man akong igin sa mga aswang. Di man sira amay maglalayog paiyan sa Bulan. Kun minsan magmomotor sana sira, kun minsan bus. Amo, ta sadto pa ngani magtratrabaho si apay. Agku tawo sa Bulan. Mig-iba ko ki apay, guguranon ko si Bakunawa, darawon ko ding ispandang kawoy na ginibo ni lolo saka adtung medalya ni San Benito, anting-anting kunu di, tinao di kanuku ku barkada ko, kabalyu ko lastiko saka teks na pigparatipon ko. Kaya ko isi kong ready na ko, nagkusog bo’ot akong kausipon si apay na iiba niya ko paiyan sadtu Bulan. Ku una abo niya, ta baka kunu magparinggaw sana ko, kasusupog kunu ku mga katrabaho niya saka daman kunu ko sadtu gigibohon. Pero sa kalaun-launi napirit ko man sana si apay na iiba ko paiyan sadto Bulan. Salamat ta matutupad na su pangarap ko na makaiyan sadtu Bulan. Aanapun ko tulos si Bakunawa pag-naguraan ko na di saka ko na pwiding mapirit ko si apay na sadtu na kami Bulan mag-istar. Lana kaya kunung sakit ka buway sadi Bikol. Narungug ko minsan sira amay saka su maestra ko na agku kunu naman nagralaban ku sapun sadtu bukid. Mga di-badil na suldados saka su mga NPA, di ko isi kun tauno sira ta magginiranan. A sabi pagrarabungun kaya kunu di ni Bakunawa. Su usad kunu na nakuku sadtu salog, pinaanod, tadtad sa bala tapos buklat su mata. Sabi ni amay, eskwela pa kunud tu niya. Maray kunu sa klase, nagtapos sa Manila tapos pagbalik nag-tukad na sa bukid. Siguro pig-hahanap man nira si Bakunawa. Ta la talaga ka perwisyo kadi ni Bakunawa. Di sana niya tutulnun a Bulan, sabi ni lola, magparapanringgaw pa kunu pag’gab-i. Manunulo sa kawuy sa bukid, magpapasabog sa bitnga ka mga dagat tanganing masdakul na makukuong isura, maski mga sadit pa. Kun minsan baga na kunu di demonyo sabi ni lola. Ta titintaran a mga kag-igin na lugusun a mga raraga nirang igin. Buburatun muna kunu ni Bakunawa. Mas matakot kunu di sa aswang. Ta di kunu di makakatakot sa bawang o krus, ta magsisimba pa kunu di. Sabi pa ni lola, magiging tawo kunu si Bakunawa pag-aalduw. Kaya makusog a bagsik ni Bakunawa. Iistorya ko man adi sa mga kangayamun ko, pero di sira maniniwala, pig-uulian na kunu si lola. Kaya dawa naghahanap kintana akong kasurog, solo sana ko sadi laban ko ki Bakunawa. Di ko man plano na mag-ayat sa tabang sa pulis, ta ku usad na alduw pauli na kong baluy, nakalunad na kong traysikel, kung biglang pinapundo su nalulunadan namu sa pulis. Inaayat su lisensya ko drayber. Agku kunu di ginibong sala ta uda kunu nakarukut na poster ni mayor. Eleksyon na kaya kadtu. Pag-uda kunu lulawgon ni mayor na nakarukut. Ku’un kunu sa pulis a lisensya. Kun diri man, inaayatan sa sanggatos su dryaber. Nagkaguw-kaguw na sana su drayber na baga na naungut man ta lang ispid kading pinadalagan su traysikel. Madali pa kaming maka-apun sadtu uma-pagbiglang rikudo. Maray sana nganing nakakaput ako. Kaya sa bo’ot ko naman, agku na ko tamang kusog na labanan si Bakunawa. Abo ko man na sabiyun ki apay ta baka kadakul ka gibo ka usad na astronaut na titser pa. Saka bihira kami kading mag-usip.
***
La ka amay namung naggalin ni apay paiyan sa Bulan. Sabadong nag-iiramrag. Agku pa ngani Bulan. Sabi ni apay da man talagay ya lo’og kadtu alduw nadto. Sadtu kaya iya nadestino na maestro. Mag-uuli sanay ya pag kabanga saka katapusan ka Bulan.Usad padi sa pagkamangha ko ka Bulan. A alduw usad sana a Bulan, dakul. A Bulan nginaran sa dosi, agku Enero, Pebrero hanggang Disyembre. Baga na alduw sakop sana ka Bulan. Uban na si apay sa pagtuturo, bako pa nagkaagoman sira ni amay, maestro nay ya sadtu Bulan. Inda kun unu mga estudyante niya sadtu, siguro mga taga ibang planeta man. Agko gad taga-Jupiter na malang dudu’ag, o Pluto na mga unano, malang iisog gad ka taga-Mars o lang gagayon ka taga-Venus, pero di man magparistorya si apay. A di niya isi, marurungug kuy ya magsasabi ki amay, arog baga ka lana la luma ka eskwelahan na pigtutut’turuan niya. A mga eskwela niya maguuram-uraman sa libro, la na ka mga luma tapos tolong tawo pa naggamit kan. Nariribungan na ngani ako minsan kun unu man a Bulan. Baga na paryo sana man ka Bikol. Kadakul problema, kadakul perwisyo talaga ni Bakunawa. Kaya baka a mga igin sadtu Bulan, makumbinse kong makilaban ki Bakunawa. Pagnagura’an na namu si Bakunawa di migray a Bikol pati na a Bulan. Sadtu ko pupunan a ribolosyon laban ki Bakunawa. Magiging Andres Bonifacio man ako ka Bikol.
Pag-iyan namung Bulan, di kami linunad sa space ship, sin’nu’nu sana ko sadtu motor ni apay. Sabi niya, kumaput sana kunuko. Tapos, isupong su helmet. Inunga niya ko kun ready na kunu ko. Sabi ko amo, Agku ko darang napsak, sadtu linu’ug ni apay su balon naming isura, tapos su pinasikreto kong ispada. Sinupung ko naman su medalya ni San Benito. Pinaandar ni apay su motor, agku mga nagluwas na asu. Baga naman space ship, kaya lang gatikot sanang aso, tapos, nag-andar na su motor. Uda ibang nakakaisi sadtu mga kangayamun ko na paiyan ako sadtu Bulan. Dawa di nira ko pinaniwalaan na maguguraan ko si Bakunawa, pinanuga ko sa sadiri ko na dadarawun ko payo ni Bakunawa na pugot. An kun magkasya sadi lo’og kadi napsak ko. Dawa inaandal ako, namumuya man ako ta amo di una kong Biyahe paiyan sa Bulan.
***
Su direksyon namu, paiyan sadtu bulkan. Baka pumapanik muna sadtu bulkan na sigi sana asu. Sadtu gad kami lumulunad sa space ship ta maray sadtu harani na sa Bulan. Nagiiramrag na kadtu. Luway-luway nang nagpapabayad su alduw na kinakasuyaan ko, makaiitum kaya an sinag ka alduw, makanos a maitum, pagparabansagan pati ka mga kangayamun ko sa agta, nakakapakuto pa kunu a pagparabulad sa alduw. A malang kuto kunu ilalayog paiyan sadtu Mayon, I-uulug kunu sa kalayo. Inunga ko si apay kun unung oras kami makakaabot sadtu Bulan, sabi niya mauban-uban kunu, mimudto na sana kunu kami sa gilid sa tinampu. Habang parani kami sadtu bulkan, mas lalo ding nagdudu’ag. Malang gayon, la ka triangle. Kadtu pagdro-drowingon ko sana di. Pero, ku mga oras na adtu, nabayad ko su bulkan sa personal. Kadakul kong nabayad sadtu tinampo, agku mga pakwan na nagtitinda, laka mga bilog, paryo ka bulan. Tapos agku surunudan na malang-susulung baluy, kadakul na bombilya sa luwas, na parung man, iba-ibang kolor, kadaklan pula. Kaamo sa ka mga pirot ko bombilya o nagpapaiingalo sana para sa trabaho kinagab-iyan. A mga ngaran pati iba-iba. Agku Diwata, Giliw, Sampaguita, Dama de Noche, saka iba pang ngaran sa burak na malangaamot pero uda man basang ako nabayad na burak na nakatanom. Agku usad na babaying nagluwas na naka tshirt sana saka short na laka alukut. Sinulung kanako tapos tinawa sa baga na isi niya a plano kung guguranun si Bakunawa. Di ako nagpamalisyang nabayad ko su babayi na lang-ib’og ku ngabil na malangpula na baga na malalata. Inunga ko si apay kun unud to, di iya nagpulaw, pero a tanda ko, sabi ni lola, maglulo’og kunu san si Bakunawa sa mga lugar na arog kan a ngaran. Saka a tandaanan, mga pulang bombilya. Pero di kami sadtu pinundu. Buko padto a Bulan. Mas maray man talaga kun maabot ko Bulan. Sadtu ko ulatun si Bakunawa. Sadtu kuy ya aatubangun. Sadto kuy ya guguranun.
***
Si lola na kag-igin ni amay a nagsabi kanaku kun siisay si Bakunawa. Agkuy ya kadtu inasang rawit-dawit kadtu kanako tungkol ki Bakunawa. Dati kunung malangkanus ni Bakunawa, nakakukulong adi. Piro usad na gab’i nakabiliw adi. Tapos nagbago su lulawgon niya buko nay yang makanos, nagin poderoso kunu si Bakunawa. Nagpag’gibo sa mga tulay na pirang taon pa sana narugma na. Pinasurat su ngaran niya sa ga waiting shed pati na sa mga kasilyasan saka basurahan. Tamang-tamang isipon na sadtu dapat talaga ibutang a ngaran ni Bakunawa. Mga ati ka banwaan. Usad pang istorya ni lola na kadtu kunu agko pitong bulan a kinaban, pig-usad-usad kunuding kaunun ni Bakunawa anggan sa magdakulu iya sa marhay na baga na na dakulung isura. Masiram kunu Bulan. Lang presko sa buros. Kaya sabi niya kaipuhan kunung bantayan a usad tang bulan, ta kun makaon pa di ni Bakunawa, la nang ngit-ngit ka gab-i ta. Kadakul ni lolang istorya ki Bakunawa na lalong nakapakusog ka pagkauyam saka pagkaungut ki Bakunawa. Kaya maray ading iniba ko ni apay, paiyan sadtu Bulan. Sadto kami mig-inampangan ni Bakunawa.
Lang rayu na ko naabot ni apay ku mag-pundu kami sa usad na gasolinahan. Nagkiling-kiling si apay ta lana kunung langkaw ka gasolina, sigi sana kunu langkaw, ngamin sadi Bikol. Kuryente kunu na galin sa init ka Bulkan. Mas alangkaw a singil sadi Bikol. Tubig kunu na galin sa Bukid ta, ipapabakal na. Pag-alangkaw kunu gasolina ngamin na miglangkawan sabi ni lola. An kunung gasolina a paboritong inumun ni Bakunawa. Kaya kontralado ni Bakunawa a ngamin. Sakup na niya a ngamin.
Pag-galin namung gasolinahan, padagus kaming nagbiyahe, paluwas na kaming Da-ra-ga. Tapos, sa talikuran ko na su bulkan, kaya sabi ko sari raw kami lumlunad paiyan sa Bulan. Siguro migbaba sana kami sa usad na lugar, tapos sadtu na su spaceship nira apay. Lalo kong na-excite. Lalo na ku palubak-lubak na su tinampu inaagiyan namu. Baka harani na kami sa Bulan. Ta nabayad ko sadtu picture sa usad na libro, na malang-bato sa Bulan, gudul-gudul a agiyan. Pero buko pa man na Bulan palan adto, pal’oog pa sana kami sa lugar na a ngaran Sor-so-gon.
***
Pag-abot namung usad na banwaan sadto Sor-so-gon, saka kami nagkaun ni apay sa gilid ko tinampu, sa sirung sa kawuy, Lang speed ko dalagan ko motor ni apay. Sabi niya bago kunu mag-gab’i sadto na kami Bulan. Linuwas namu su balun namung kanun saka katnga tapos iniyuw na tilapia saka adobong manok. Lang siram ko pagkaun namu, sinabuw ko su sabuw ko adobo sadto malang-puting kanon. Di ako nagkaon ko katnga ta malang-ali. Si apay a nakaubos kadtu. Nakakapirang subu pa sana ko ko agku maglabus na guraan. Iba adtung guraan. Bukung paryu ko magraan si lolo. Su mga nakikigubuk agku mga darang placards na a nakasurat. Ingles, tapos Tagalog saka Bikol. Binasa ko. Idi-idi: JUS-TICE FOR KA TI-NONG! KA-TA-RUNGAN SA MA-RA-LI-TA!!! PUN-DO-HON AN GE-GE-RA KAN MI-LI-LITAR! SI-BIL-YAN NA-DA-DA-MAY! Agku mga nagbuburang nakaitum na nagsusunud sadto kabaung, su usad na igin na babayi, sinilngan ko, pero rinayu niya su silung kanako. In’nukrung bigla agku ya kaput na burak na pula- mga gumamela. Su ibang nakikilubung agko mga bugkus na pula sadto payo nira. Sabi ni lola, pag-agko kunu linolobong, mangadyi kunu ko, piro ko mga oras adtu, da ako narumruman kundi su lulawgon ko igin na babaying nabayad. Inandal ako ta baka si Bakunawa a nag-guraan Ki Ka Tinong. Baka apay niya di o kaya ngud na gurang. Kaya sabi ko sa sadiri, aanapun ko si Bakunawa, guguranun ko si Bakunawa para kanya. Pero di kami sadto nauban ni apay. Lin’nunad kami sadtu motor. Tapos pinadalagan ini ni apay sa lang tandus, kaamo sa agku ya namating ribuk sadtu lubong na adto. Pag-li-li ko, nabayad kong agku kasabatan na mga tangke sa military su lubong. Inandal ako para ko igin na babaying nabayad ko.
***
Mga mig-alasingko y medya nadtu ko magpabayad na su Bulan. Kabilugan kadtu, kaya, gatikot pa sana ku hawak ku bulan su nababayad ko. La pa namung rayu sa bo’ot ko, pero sabi ni apay, arani na kunu kami sa Bulan, Napaparung ko na angin na galin sa dagat. Takot ako sa dagat. Di pati ako maririgus sa dagat saka malang apri sa mata. Abu kung maray na makukulugan a mata ko. Abu ko sa ngit-ngit. Abu kong masusungut. A alduw, malangsula, a dagat, ma-apri sa mata a tubig. Saka makakatakot ako ka mga alon. Baga na kaya tutulunun ika kadi tapos darawon ika sa pusod ka dagat. Baga na si Bakunawa. Pero kadtong mga panahon adto, pinakusog ko su sadiri ko. Dapat labanan ko si Bakunawa. Pag-abot namung Bulan, sasabiyan ko si apay ka plano ko. Isi kong tatabangan niya ko. Dapat ngani magin proud pay ya kanako.
***
Aminun kong buku akong gayung arani ki apay. Pero ko mga panahon na adto namatian ko su pagpayaba niya. Lang ray ko pagmati na habang nakalunad ako sa motor, gakos-gakos koy ya. Gusto kong ipamati kanya na payaba koy ya sa maray. Sira ni amay. Na bihira kaming mag-uusip ni apay, isi kong bago ko maturog babaydun muna ko niya. Mamangnu koy yang mag-lu’lu’ug sadtu sadit kong kuwarto. Tapos, pagtiturungan ako. Saka dawa pauno, si apay a dahilan kun paano ako nakaabot sa Bulan. Na buko man palan su bulan na nababayad ko sa langit, na magigin lugar ka labanan namu ni Bakunawa, kundi sa Bulan, Sorsogon.
***
Mig-alas siyete na sa gab-i kami nag-abot sa Bulan, Sorsogon. Amo palan adtu a Bulan na pigtutukoy nira apay saka nira amay. Napatawa ko sa sadiri ko, pero namundo man ako ta pa’no na matutupad su pangitoragan kong iligtas a Bulan laban ki Bakunawa. Pa’no kun kantyawan sana ko ku mga kangayamun ko? Pano kun mabayad ko utro su igin na babayi tapos unga’un ako kun naguraan ko na si Bakunawa? Pa’no kun pag-uli namu, taw’an sana ko ku mga babaying nagtratrabaho sadto Sampaguita. Sabiyan akong lako paka totoy. Di ko pa kaya si Bakunawa. Namundo ako sa maray. Pero binawi adtu ni apay ku dinara ko niya sadto pier, agko sadto ula-ulaan na bayad a dagat harani sana sadtu kubong inaarkila ni apay. Namamati’an kong nauuda su takot ko sa dagat o mas nasasapawan san su takot ko, ku gayon ku Bulan. Su lugar saka su Bulan na gusto kong maabut. Malang linig ko langit, uda panganoron na nakakalingud. Malinig man su pier ku Bulan, Sorsogon. Sabi ni apay, dawa pirang taon na kunuy yang nagtuturo sadtu Bulan, tapos agko mga assignment na mas magayon kaysa sadto, saka alangkaw a swildo, di niya kayang bayaan a Bulan. Baga na kunud to paraiso. Na maski arayo pa sa Iriga, kinakaya niya, ta agko kakaibang kusog iyang namamatian pag-aabot sadto Bulan. Kun buko sana kunu ki amay, sadto na kunu kami Bulan mig-istar. Agkou pa inistorya si apay tungkol sa buway niya. Ku igin pa ya, gusto kunu niya kadtung maging abogado, kaya lang ti’us talaga sira. Kaya nagtitser na sana kunuy ya ta agku ya nakukung iskalarship. Pero, pinanuga man niya na magigin maray na maestro ya. Agko pay ya pigparasabi kanako, na kadto kunu ungut iya sa mga pulitiko na nagpaparuro ka Bikol, na amu sana siging pinasa-pasahan sa katungdan. Usad sanang pamilya a nagkakapot ka opisina, ka kapitolyo, ka munisipyo, ka ngamin sa gobyerno. Gusto kuno niyang makatabang sa Bikol. Pero mas pinili pa niyang magin tultul tapos sincerong maestro na tut’turuan a mga estudyante niya diri sana pagparapawanun. Su iba niyang istorya di ko naman naintidyan, laku na kaya ka pagal. Mala ta napabatang na ko sadtu lapi ni apay. Bago ko ipikit su mga mata sinilngan ko su Bulan na baga na nanalming sadtu malanglinaw na dagat. Narumruman ko si Bakunawa. Baka bigla iyang magluwas tapos manringaw! Pero, kadtung gab-ing adtu, isi kong makakaturug ako sa marhay, lalo na ku ma malisyan ko na kinilit na ko ni apay, paiyan sadto araning turugan namu. Sabi ko, di ako takot kanimu Bakunawa, kaya ko nay yang labanan, dawa sa pangiturugan muna.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
BLAH BLAH BLAH
HISTORY AS OUR STORY
Kristian S. Cordero
My love affair with history dates back to my elementary years. I owe it to my father who instead of letting me play games the normal growing boys would do, took me to his lap and taught me to memorize the names of heroes inscribed in our moneys. I vividly recall how we would brag me to his drinking partners every time I would be able to recite the litany of heroes. He also told me stories and intrigues surrounding the lives and loves of these people whose heads were cut off to be placed in our currency. He told me Aguinaldo was responsible to the killing of the Bonifacio brothers and the assassination of Antonio Luna.
From these national heroes, I grew up learning to love the lives of saints. My mother introduced me to this wonderful people who unlike our heroes can perform miracles. So every Sunday, my parents are obliged to buy me one novena that contains a short biographical sketch on these heavenly intercessors. Reading their story made me feel that I was part of their own story. As a young child, I tried to imagine going to their times and places. It was a kind of adventure for me to be introduced to these people. This is the kind of an adventure that I feel indebted to history and to my parents. I would never trade it to any other experience.
In later years, in high school as well as in college, my love for history remains unwavering. In the seminary I volunteered to work as one of the assistants in the archdiocesan museum. There, I got so involved with history particularly our ancient and local history as a Bikolano people. I met several people whose interest to history is truly remarkable. While most students think history as a far-forbidden hall of the academe, I see history as our own story. History is not only about them, it is about us. It is not so much part of a distant past but of the present. History tells us who we were and why are we like this now. Many of our present problems trace its roots to our unresolved past. Past that is hidden from us, shattered dreams that we have turned into illusions, into a pseudo-personification of our true identity. One gets true healing by looking back, assessing the present and taking hold of a future. This is the kind of history that we need—a critical history.
Nietzsche said that “history belongs to the living man in three respects: it belongs to him so far as he is active and striving, so far as he preserves and admires, and so far as he suffers and is in need of liberation.” All three correspond to the use of history that is monumental, antiquarian and critical.
My father telling me about Rizal, Del Pilar and Tandang Sora therefore falls into the monumental type of history—a kind of accounting of the greatness of past generations. It is the type of the history that admonishes citizens to continue the greatness and legacy of our forefathers. “It is the knowledge that the great which once existed was at least possible once and may well again be possible sometime.” Randy David, a noted Filipino sociologist classifies much of our history to this category. David’s assessment can be seen through a lot of evidences and tapestries of experience. We hear political speeches written by some inept ghostwriters of tongue-tied politicians who instead of presenting a clear political mandate resort to quoting Jose Rizal and Ninoy Aquino. Pictures of these heroes are also displayed in our classrooms. We have erected monuments and named street, bridges, offices, foundations, schools and other institutions after them. The dangerous side of this type is to fictionalize the character and the event surrounding their lives—this type of history mystifies our heroes from the people. Heroes become mythical and ideal creatures, rather than becoming one with the people’s struggle and idealism. This is also true to our saints, as their cult grows, they are more venerated rather than imitated.
The second type of history is antiquarian. Here I qualify my experience in the seminary as an “antique boy” (a term used to refer seminarians working in the museum; Fr. Toots Imperial coined this title). Monumental history according to Nietzsche can be countered by a dose of antiquarian history. Antiquarian keeps us recognize the humanity of our heroes. It instills us reverence to the person, his origins, and even the things and places that had relations with him/her. In the museum, I learned to appreciate the greatness of these people by looking at the intricate craftsmanship of our ancestors immortalized in the ancient tools and burial jars and the zealous dedication of the early Catholic missionaries evangelizing this pagan land. This type of history explains why we also keep and collect old things, memoirs, and vintage photographs, and even receipts. We surround ourselves with old things because we see our history in this way. And like monumental history, the second type can also be corrupted by mummification. History according to Nietzsche is not meant to be a celebration of decay. It is meant to nurture life.
Thus, antiquarian history should give us the motivation to move on. We do not linger with the past. We let the past shed light to our present. That is why we need a critical history. The type of history that assesses the society in such a way that one must be ready to lay the foundation that will break the old-aged traditions that have shackled the people. We need this kind of history that fears no one. A history that is not self-serving to the interest of those in power, power they have long been perpetuated, a power that corrupts the people. Accordingly, critical history challenges institutions, and even the entire way of living inherited from the past and from the tradition. Not all part of past are glorious, kind and worth keeping. We need to purge ourselves and accept the hard truth that we will see in history. Critical history will only materialize if people begin to re-discover their value and worth. The findings of this history have been maliciously kept by few members of our society because it unravels the truth that for them will be fatal, which for most of us will mean healing and liberation.
Kristian S. Cordero
My love affair with history dates back to my elementary years. I owe it to my father who instead of letting me play games the normal growing boys would do, took me to his lap and taught me to memorize the names of heroes inscribed in our moneys. I vividly recall how we would brag me to his drinking partners every time I would be able to recite the litany of heroes. He also told me stories and intrigues surrounding the lives and loves of these people whose heads were cut off to be placed in our currency. He told me Aguinaldo was responsible to the killing of the Bonifacio brothers and the assassination of Antonio Luna.
From these national heroes, I grew up learning to love the lives of saints. My mother introduced me to this wonderful people who unlike our heroes can perform miracles. So every Sunday, my parents are obliged to buy me one novena that contains a short biographical sketch on these heavenly intercessors. Reading their story made me feel that I was part of their own story. As a young child, I tried to imagine going to their times and places. It was a kind of adventure for me to be introduced to these people. This is the kind of an adventure that I feel indebted to history and to my parents. I would never trade it to any other experience.
In later years, in high school as well as in college, my love for history remains unwavering. In the seminary I volunteered to work as one of the assistants in the archdiocesan museum. There, I got so involved with history particularly our ancient and local history as a Bikolano people. I met several people whose interest to history is truly remarkable. While most students think history as a far-forbidden hall of the academe, I see history as our own story. History is not only about them, it is about us. It is not so much part of a distant past but of the present. History tells us who we were and why are we like this now. Many of our present problems trace its roots to our unresolved past. Past that is hidden from us, shattered dreams that we have turned into illusions, into a pseudo-personification of our true identity. One gets true healing by looking back, assessing the present and taking hold of a future. This is the kind of history that we need—a critical history.
Nietzsche said that “history belongs to the living man in three respects: it belongs to him so far as he is active and striving, so far as he preserves and admires, and so far as he suffers and is in need of liberation.” All three correspond to the use of history that is monumental, antiquarian and critical.
My father telling me about Rizal, Del Pilar and Tandang Sora therefore falls into the monumental type of history—a kind of accounting of the greatness of past generations. It is the type of the history that admonishes citizens to continue the greatness and legacy of our forefathers. “It is the knowledge that the great which once existed was at least possible once and may well again be possible sometime.” Randy David, a noted Filipino sociologist classifies much of our history to this category. David’s assessment can be seen through a lot of evidences and tapestries of experience. We hear political speeches written by some inept ghostwriters of tongue-tied politicians who instead of presenting a clear political mandate resort to quoting Jose Rizal and Ninoy Aquino. Pictures of these heroes are also displayed in our classrooms. We have erected monuments and named street, bridges, offices, foundations, schools and other institutions after them. The dangerous side of this type is to fictionalize the character and the event surrounding their lives—this type of history mystifies our heroes from the people. Heroes become mythical and ideal creatures, rather than becoming one with the people’s struggle and idealism. This is also true to our saints, as their cult grows, they are more venerated rather than imitated.
The second type of history is antiquarian. Here I qualify my experience in the seminary as an “antique boy” (a term used to refer seminarians working in the museum; Fr. Toots Imperial coined this title). Monumental history according to Nietzsche can be countered by a dose of antiquarian history. Antiquarian keeps us recognize the humanity of our heroes. It instills us reverence to the person, his origins, and even the things and places that had relations with him/her. In the museum, I learned to appreciate the greatness of these people by looking at the intricate craftsmanship of our ancestors immortalized in the ancient tools and burial jars and the zealous dedication of the early Catholic missionaries evangelizing this pagan land. This type of history explains why we also keep and collect old things, memoirs, and vintage photographs, and even receipts. We surround ourselves with old things because we see our history in this way. And like monumental history, the second type can also be corrupted by mummification. History according to Nietzsche is not meant to be a celebration of decay. It is meant to nurture life.
Thus, antiquarian history should give us the motivation to move on. We do not linger with the past. We let the past shed light to our present. That is why we need a critical history. The type of history that assesses the society in such a way that one must be ready to lay the foundation that will break the old-aged traditions that have shackled the people. We need this kind of history that fears no one. A history that is not self-serving to the interest of those in power, power they have long been perpetuated, a power that corrupts the people. Accordingly, critical history challenges institutions, and even the entire way of living inherited from the past and from the tradition. Not all part of past are glorious, kind and worth keeping. We need to purge ourselves and accept the hard truth that we will see in history. Critical history will only materialize if people begin to re-discover their value and worth. The findings of this history have been maliciously kept by few members of our society because it unravels the truth that for them will be fatal, which for most of us will mean healing and liberation.
PUSO
PUSO
Kristian S. Cordero
Siring sa mga dating banggi, nahiling ko an puso ko
sa taed ko, may pandok kan tawong haloy ko nang ilusyon.
Dai ko sa siya tinin’o, ta aram ko bako man siyang totoo
nagtalikod ako asin kinugos an sakuyang ilunan.
Alagad nagpirit an sakuyang puso, kiniblit ako sa may iris
Nagpoon siyang maghinghing: mati’a an saimong daghan,
mayo ako dyan, mayo sa laog kan saimong lawas,
dai ako nakakulong sa saimong mga gusok.
Asin pinaatubang niya ako saiya, nagsasayuma ako
alagad makusog an sakuyang puso, minasunod man
ako giraray, dai nakaka’agrangay, dai nakakahabo
sa puso kong masumbikal asin pilyo.
Midbid ako kan sakuyang puso, aram kun saen ako
maluya, duman sa talinga siya nagpopoon na maghangos
na daing patod, garo nagkukuradkutad, sagkod sa hadokan
niya an sakong ngabil, an dungo, pugol na pagkagurob-gurob.
Hahapulason niya an sakuyang daghan, luhay-luhay
pasiring sa ikinabuhay, duman niya ako nadadaog,
duman niya ako nalalaog sagkod na ako mapaturog
Matatapos an bangging kadurog ko an sakuyang puso.
Alagad nagigimata akong mayo na an pusong kataed,
Minahali siya tulos, dai nin paaram, daing surat, daing
huring hadok, daing walat na parong o gira nin mga bitis.
Tibaad minabalik siya sa sakuyang alang na daghan
o baka may iba pang siyang dinudumanan
apwera kaining sakuyang higdaan na kaipuhan
ko naman ribayan an tamong tulos-tulos
maski kan sarong aldaw pa man sana linabahan.
Kristian S. Cordero
Siring sa mga dating banggi, nahiling ko an puso ko
sa taed ko, may pandok kan tawong haloy ko nang ilusyon.
Dai ko sa siya tinin’o, ta aram ko bako man siyang totoo
nagtalikod ako asin kinugos an sakuyang ilunan.
Alagad nagpirit an sakuyang puso, kiniblit ako sa may iris
Nagpoon siyang maghinghing: mati’a an saimong daghan,
mayo ako dyan, mayo sa laog kan saimong lawas,
dai ako nakakulong sa saimong mga gusok.
Asin pinaatubang niya ako saiya, nagsasayuma ako
alagad makusog an sakuyang puso, minasunod man
ako giraray, dai nakaka’agrangay, dai nakakahabo
sa puso kong masumbikal asin pilyo.
Midbid ako kan sakuyang puso, aram kun saen ako
maluya, duman sa talinga siya nagpopoon na maghangos
na daing patod, garo nagkukuradkutad, sagkod sa hadokan
niya an sakong ngabil, an dungo, pugol na pagkagurob-gurob.
Hahapulason niya an sakuyang daghan, luhay-luhay
pasiring sa ikinabuhay, duman niya ako nadadaog,
duman niya ako nalalaog sagkod na ako mapaturog
Matatapos an bangging kadurog ko an sakuyang puso.
Alagad nagigimata akong mayo na an pusong kataed,
Minahali siya tulos, dai nin paaram, daing surat, daing
huring hadok, daing walat na parong o gira nin mga bitis.
Tibaad minabalik siya sa sakuyang alang na daghan
o baka may iba pang siyang dinudumanan
apwera kaining sakuyang higdaan na kaipuhan
ko naman ribayan an tamong tulos-tulos
maski kan sarong aldaw pa man sana linabahan.
POPE RATZINGER ELECTS MSGR. JORO
ROJAS TO BECOME CACERES’ AUXILLIARY BISHOP
Pope’s First Filipino Bishop Elected
Kristian S. Cordero
The long wait is over. Pope Benedict XVI has given the local church of Caceres another shepherd—the first Filipino bishop to be elected after his assumption to the See of Peter. Rev. Msgr. Jose R. Rojas, Vicar General and Parish Priest of Immaculate Conception Parish, Naga City is now the new auxiliary bishop of the archdiocese. His election as Titular Bishop of Idassa and auxiliary bishop of Caceres was made last July 25, 2005 at the Vatican City and was relayed through a communication sent to Apostolic Nuncio Antonio Franco who asked the faithful to pray for the new bishop.
Born in Cebu City as the eldest child of Jose Rojas Sr. and Emiliana Rojas on August 18, 1956, his family went back to Naga where the would-be-bishop took his elementary education at the Naga Parochial School. Realizing his vocation to the priesthood, he entered the Holy Rosary Minor Seminary where he finished his secondary education in 1973. He took up his philosophy at the Holy Rosary Major Seminary (1977) and his bachelor’s degree on sacred theology at the Pontifical University of Santo Tomas, a Dominican university in Manila (1980). On March 29, 1981, in a solemn ceremony held at the Metropolitan Cathedral, Archbishop Teopisto V. Alberto, DD, ordained him to the sacred orders of priesthood.
After his ordination, he was assigned as parochial vicar in the Parish of Our Lady of Peñafrancia in Naga City. In 1982, he continued his studies and earned his licentiate in theology and a master’s degree in Religious Education from the same Dominican university. Msgr. Rojas left the country for his doctoral studies at the Catholic University of Leuven in Belgium in 1985. Two years after, he received his doctorate both in philosophy and moral theology, a sole distinction he still holds among the Caceres clergy. Right after his studies abroad, he went back to Naga to serve as seminary formator. From 1987 to 1989 he was professor and vice-rector of the Holy Rosary Major Seminary and on 1989, he was installed as the new rector of the same seminary by Archbishop Leonardo Z. Legaspi, OP, DD. Msgr. Rojas held the position until 1998.
Aside from his ministry in the seminary, he has been appointed to other key roles in the archdiocesan commissions namely: Chairman, Commission on Doctrine (1987-to the present); Judge, Caceres Marriage Tribunal (1991-1994); Chairman, Commission on Priestly Formation (1989-1998); Chairman, Commission on Preservation of the Holy Rosary Minor Seminary as a National Historical Landmark (1989-1995); Chairman, Archdiocesan Pastoral Council II (2002); Director, Caceres Family Ministry (2001- to the present) and many others.
Gifted with propensity both in writing and music, Msgr. Rojas has composed numerous liturgical and Marian songs both in English and Bikol. He has written articles on various issues on morals, bioethics, church history, seminary formation, and other church-related issues that landed on different national and international publications. He has also written and edited books published in the archdiocese: The History of Enduring Monument, The Holy Rosary Seminary in Caceres (1995); A Story of Divine Providence: The History of Daughters of Mary (1996); Editor, Sacramentario, Lectionario and Pamibi nin Banwaan; Editor, Light to All (2004).
The new auxiliary bishop of Caceres holds the office of the Vicar General since 1998, a position that most likely he will retain. As Vicar general, he ranks second after the archbishop, thus in many occasions, Msgr. Rojas has actively taken up this role, presiding parish fiesta celebrations, installations and the monthly assembly of the clergy. His election therefore to the episcopacy is seen by many clergy as an affirmation for his indefatigable service to the local church of Caceres. His Episcopal consecration is yet to be announced while others are speculating as early as now that it will fall on the Peñafrancia celebration this coming September.
We enjoin our readers to pray for Msgr. Rojas as he takes his pastoral staff to be brave enough and have the courage to fight for his flock assailed by the many wolves that continue to devour the people entrusted to his care. May Jesus, the Eternal High Priest and Mary, Mother of All Christians bless and keep his servant in his ministry.
Pope’s First Filipino Bishop Elected
Kristian S. Cordero
The long wait is over. Pope Benedict XVI has given the local church of Caceres another shepherd—the first Filipino bishop to be elected after his assumption to the See of Peter. Rev. Msgr. Jose R. Rojas, Vicar General and Parish Priest of Immaculate Conception Parish, Naga City is now the new auxiliary bishop of the archdiocese. His election as Titular Bishop of Idassa and auxiliary bishop of Caceres was made last July 25, 2005 at the Vatican City and was relayed through a communication sent to Apostolic Nuncio Antonio Franco who asked the faithful to pray for the new bishop.
Born in Cebu City as the eldest child of Jose Rojas Sr. and Emiliana Rojas on August 18, 1956, his family went back to Naga where the would-be-bishop took his elementary education at the Naga Parochial School. Realizing his vocation to the priesthood, he entered the Holy Rosary Minor Seminary where he finished his secondary education in 1973. He took up his philosophy at the Holy Rosary Major Seminary (1977) and his bachelor’s degree on sacred theology at the Pontifical University of Santo Tomas, a Dominican university in Manila (1980). On March 29, 1981, in a solemn ceremony held at the Metropolitan Cathedral, Archbishop Teopisto V. Alberto, DD, ordained him to the sacred orders of priesthood.
After his ordination, he was assigned as parochial vicar in the Parish of Our Lady of Peñafrancia in Naga City. In 1982, he continued his studies and earned his licentiate in theology and a master’s degree in Religious Education from the same Dominican university. Msgr. Rojas left the country for his doctoral studies at the Catholic University of Leuven in Belgium in 1985. Two years after, he received his doctorate both in philosophy and moral theology, a sole distinction he still holds among the Caceres clergy. Right after his studies abroad, he went back to Naga to serve as seminary formator. From 1987 to 1989 he was professor and vice-rector of the Holy Rosary Major Seminary and on 1989, he was installed as the new rector of the same seminary by Archbishop Leonardo Z. Legaspi, OP, DD. Msgr. Rojas held the position until 1998.
Aside from his ministry in the seminary, he has been appointed to other key roles in the archdiocesan commissions namely: Chairman, Commission on Doctrine (1987-to the present); Judge, Caceres Marriage Tribunal (1991-1994); Chairman, Commission on Priestly Formation (1989-1998); Chairman, Commission on Preservation of the Holy Rosary Minor Seminary as a National Historical Landmark (1989-1995); Chairman, Archdiocesan Pastoral Council II (2002); Director, Caceres Family Ministry (2001- to the present) and many others.
Gifted with propensity both in writing and music, Msgr. Rojas has composed numerous liturgical and Marian songs both in English and Bikol. He has written articles on various issues on morals, bioethics, church history, seminary formation, and other church-related issues that landed on different national and international publications. He has also written and edited books published in the archdiocese: The History of Enduring Monument, The Holy Rosary Seminary in Caceres (1995); A Story of Divine Providence: The History of Daughters of Mary (1996); Editor, Sacramentario, Lectionario and Pamibi nin Banwaan; Editor, Light to All (2004).
The new auxiliary bishop of Caceres holds the office of the Vicar General since 1998, a position that most likely he will retain. As Vicar general, he ranks second after the archbishop, thus in many occasions, Msgr. Rojas has actively taken up this role, presiding parish fiesta celebrations, installations and the monthly assembly of the clergy. His election therefore to the episcopacy is seen by many clergy as an affirmation for his indefatigable service to the local church of Caceres. His Episcopal consecration is yet to be announced while others are speculating as early as now that it will fall on the Peñafrancia celebration this coming September.
We enjoin our readers to pray for Msgr. Rojas as he takes his pastoral staff to be brave enough and have the courage to fight for his flock assailed by the many wolves that continue to devour the people entrusted to his care. May Jesus, the Eternal High Priest and Mary, Mother of All Christians bless and keep his servant in his ministry.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
A BLAH BLAH BLAH
PURGING ANG FORGING A NATION
Kristian S. Cordero
Chinese have a better way on looking at a crisis that we can learn as we brave another political storm that has besieged our country. Crisis is both an opportunity and a danger. Danger should be read accurately to prevent further havocs while opportunity should be seized to do something extraordinary. In the last few days, we have been trying to grapple this serious political issue that involves the highest leader of the land—no less than the president herself. I am one of those who believe that we need to purge ourselves to be able to start and forge a better nation for ourselves and for the future generations.
In his pastoral letter read last Sunday, Archbishop Legaspi reiterated the call of the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) to restore moral values in Philippine government. The Dominican bishop made a clarion call for the present government to take into serious consideration the various cases hurled against her wrecked administration—the issue of an alleged election fraud, the illegal gambling involving some members of his immediate family and our historic failure to come up with an economic agenda that will alleviate our people from their sad plight of poverty and miseries. The archbishop also admitted that the church in some ways particularly the members of the hierarchy have contributed to the confusion, division and decline of moral standards in our people. The church is so many ways has failed to practice their solidarity with the poor.
Surprisingly, the bishops did not ask for an immediate resignation of the incumbent president despite of massive protests against her. The prelates had reached a seemingly collective decision and have taken the path of shepherding rather than interfering in the decaying state of Philippine politics. They have waged another battle not to combat certain individuals in power but to vanquish this cultural malaise as Jesuit Nem Gonzales aptly called it.
Our political crisis is one of the many results of our cultural malaise as a people. We need to purge this sad republic away from our inept and traditional politicians that have sabotaged and plundered us. As a people we have to undergo a collective experience that we will come to realize that nothing is left for us except ourselves—our people. How can we think of poverty when we know that there is burgeoning elite that controls and monopolizes the riches of the land? How can we solve poverty when it means nothing but an apostolate of the church and her charitable institutions that are not also free from corruption and greed?
I was a high school graduating student when the centennial fever caught us. We were made to look back at the glorious page of our history when our so-called national heroes have declared their independence against foreign colonizers, the first to become a modern republic in this part of the world, and yet I feel that after several years, life in this country has become more impoverished.
I come to believe that this country is still very far, at the very least from a true democratic state. We are the best example of what the ancient Greek philosophers had feared—that is democracy at its worst. Our state is not considered a moral agent in our society. The church has also been accused of conspiracy with the oligarchy that tops the lists of mass donors and benefactors. We do not practice collective act of unselfishness. We still think from a regionalist point of view. We are not yet a nation. Nationhood is still a dream waiting to become true for all of us. We do not have a collective conscience that will serve as our moral bond. The Philippines given its hundred years of struggle against foreign powers has never really gone beyond in forming true citizens of the land. Foreign rules still dictate and intervene in our internal affairs. We still wait for what will the United States of America will say regarding our government. We have never really grown. We still cling to our foreign colonizers and look at them as mothers and messiahs. These foreign aggressors have succeeded in colonizing us. They have turned our selves to become our own worst enemies to battle against with. They have crushed our self-esteem. We hardly know ourselves.
My father who works in a shipping line in the U.S. shared with me an unsurprising story. In their place of work, they call themselves Filipinos when introduced to foreigners and yet when it comes among them, they become distinct and distant individuals—Kapampangans, Ilonggos, Bikolanos, etc. His story made me realize that we still draw our identities from our tribal lineage which served as our pre-colonial and political communities. Hence, even now, we still imagine ourselves as members of particular clan, member of this family—we have the buena familia instead of having citizens of this country. Ginebra played well in their advertisement and got a high number of loyal supporters to their basketball team because of their Barangay Ginebra campaign. We are very responsible, responsive and sensitive when it comes to family matters and yet remain indifferent to the social issues that affect one and all. This is why corruption and poverty is prevalent in our society. We have settled with lesser evils when we could have chosen the good. These lesser evils have grown and become the worst evil, the mother of lies and the worst nightmare we ever had.
Institutions like the Church and the Media should play a pivotal role in purging the nation. We need a church that practices what it teaches and a media that is only liable to the truth and not to any individuals. Archbishop Legaspi and his fellow bishops have taken their stand. Let their faithful Catholics become stalwarts of change and development in this country. Ironically, majority of our population are Catholics and yet we are enlisted as second most corrupt country in the world. We voted into office Marcos and Estrada, world-known tyrants and corrupt leaders. The Church, the same way with the president should take radical steps to become more relevant to the lives of the people particularly the poor. And for the media, it should actively engage by providing new language, new vision in which we shall all see ourselves and our roles for this country. Only then when we purge ourselves, our local communities can we start forging a country that we can really call ours.
Kristian S. Cordero
Chinese have a better way on looking at a crisis that we can learn as we brave another political storm that has besieged our country. Crisis is both an opportunity and a danger. Danger should be read accurately to prevent further havocs while opportunity should be seized to do something extraordinary. In the last few days, we have been trying to grapple this serious political issue that involves the highest leader of the land—no less than the president herself. I am one of those who believe that we need to purge ourselves to be able to start and forge a better nation for ourselves and for the future generations.
In his pastoral letter read last Sunday, Archbishop Legaspi reiterated the call of the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) to restore moral values in Philippine government. The Dominican bishop made a clarion call for the present government to take into serious consideration the various cases hurled against her wrecked administration—the issue of an alleged election fraud, the illegal gambling involving some members of his immediate family and our historic failure to come up with an economic agenda that will alleviate our people from their sad plight of poverty and miseries. The archbishop also admitted that the church in some ways particularly the members of the hierarchy have contributed to the confusion, division and decline of moral standards in our people. The church is so many ways has failed to practice their solidarity with the poor.
Surprisingly, the bishops did not ask for an immediate resignation of the incumbent president despite of massive protests against her. The prelates had reached a seemingly collective decision and have taken the path of shepherding rather than interfering in the decaying state of Philippine politics. They have waged another battle not to combat certain individuals in power but to vanquish this cultural malaise as Jesuit Nem Gonzales aptly called it.
Our political crisis is one of the many results of our cultural malaise as a people. We need to purge this sad republic away from our inept and traditional politicians that have sabotaged and plundered us. As a people we have to undergo a collective experience that we will come to realize that nothing is left for us except ourselves—our people. How can we think of poverty when we know that there is burgeoning elite that controls and monopolizes the riches of the land? How can we solve poverty when it means nothing but an apostolate of the church and her charitable institutions that are not also free from corruption and greed?
I was a high school graduating student when the centennial fever caught us. We were made to look back at the glorious page of our history when our so-called national heroes have declared their independence against foreign colonizers, the first to become a modern republic in this part of the world, and yet I feel that after several years, life in this country has become more impoverished.
I come to believe that this country is still very far, at the very least from a true democratic state. We are the best example of what the ancient Greek philosophers had feared—that is democracy at its worst. Our state is not considered a moral agent in our society. The church has also been accused of conspiracy with the oligarchy that tops the lists of mass donors and benefactors. We do not practice collective act of unselfishness. We still think from a regionalist point of view. We are not yet a nation. Nationhood is still a dream waiting to become true for all of us. We do not have a collective conscience that will serve as our moral bond. The Philippines given its hundred years of struggle against foreign powers has never really gone beyond in forming true citizens of the land. Foreign rules still dictate and intervene in our internal affairs. We still wait for what will the United States of America will say regarding our government. We have never really grown. We still cling to our foreign colonizers and look at them as mothers and messiahs. These foreign aggressors have succeeded in colonizing us. They have turned our selves to become our own worst enemies to battle against with. They have crushed our self-esteem. We hardly know ourselves.
My father who works in a shipping line in the U.S. shared with me an unsurprising story. In their place of work, they call themselves Filipinos when introduced to foreigners and yet when it comes among them, they become distinct and distant individuals—Kapampangans, Ilonggos, Bikolanos, etc. His story made me realize that we still draw our identities from our tribal lineage which served as our pre-colonial and political communities. Hence, even now, we still imagine ourselves as members of particular clan, member of this family—we have the buena familia instead of having citizens of this country. Ginebra played well in their advertisement and got a high number of loyal supporters to their basketball team because of their Barangay Ginebra campaign. We are very responsible, responsive and sensitive when it comes to family matters and yet remain indifferent to the social issues that affect one and all. This is why corruption and poverty is prevalent in our society. We have settled with lesser evils when we could have chosen the good. These lesser evils have grown and become the worst evil, the mother of lies and the worst nightmare we ever had.
Institutions like the Church and the Media should play a pivotal role in purging the nation. We need a church that practices what it teaches and a media that is only liable to the truth and not to any individuals. Archbishop Legaspi and his fellow bishops have taken their stand. Let their faithful Catholics become stalwarts of change and development in this country. Ironically, majority of our population are Catholics and yet we are enlisted as second most corrupt country in the world. We voted into office Marcos and Estrada, world-known tyrants and corrupt leaders. The Church, the same way with the president should take radical steps to become more relevant to the lives of the people particularly the poor. And for the media, it should actively engage by providing new language, new vision in which we shall all see ourselves and our roles for this country. Only then when we purge ourselves, our local communities can we start forging a country that we can really call ours.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)